Well, I have decided that this is the month for good news or at least semi good news in my part. I just got a call about a job interview. As I am about to graduate with no prospects this is great news. So next Tuesday in the morning I want all of you to be praying and sending the love towards me. I will be interviewing at the College of Charleston and I really, really really want this position. I personally believe that it was made for me. Everyone wish me luck!
For the past month and a half (or maybe more), I have been going through a grueling, anxiety inducing process of interviewing and competing for practicum placements. This will be the site where I will see my first clients and do all of my pre-degree MFT training. I interviewed at five sites. I had three top choices, two of which were pretty competitive. This week was notification week and Thursday was Decision Day. I received offers from my top three choices! I selected Santa Anita Family Services which was my top choice and the most competitive site. They take eight students from my school and just about every other school in LA county. Everyone in my cohort (about 50) applied there. I was lucky to get an interview and even luckier to get an offer. Or maybe I'm just that good. Either way I'm super excited about this. I accepted a placement that will begin on June 6. The clinic has sites in three cities. I'm unsure which one I'll be at yet, but it would be nice to be at the main site since it is three blocks from my apartment but that is unlikely. Anyway, I just wanted to share this news. It's such a relief to have this over with. Now I'm only one final away from spring break, and then I'm off to Georgia for two weeks. Only three more months until I will finally see my first client!
"I thought I would build a busier life, one full of significance and resonance for our world today, especially after receiving a doctorate from an Ivy League university in America. But I haven't succeeded in any worldly way. And can I be happy being nobody? ''I'm Nobody. Who are you?'' wrote Emily Dickinson. Even so, I still attempt to leave a little scratch in this world with my writings--just these little etchings, renderings of my life's experiences in short vignettes. It's a wonderful thing to do, to write, to recreate lost worlds and in doing so to forgive myself. I am of no significance or perhaps really I am, because I live and breathe and think and do what I need to do in life and encourage people like my sister to do the same."
-Peggy, Frankfurt am Main, Germany, from her "This I believe" essay
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I came across the "This I believe " website by happenstance this morning. Just reading through a few of the essays that others have posted has made me feel like going home, huddling beneath a blanket, pulling out my computer, and writing an essay to submit this very evening. It is only by articulating our operable beliefs or the belief system that we employ in navigating daily life, I am coming to believe [*please note, I am articulating my belief on beliefs, so roll with me here], that we can truly understand where we fall along the spectrum of belief or how our beliefs compare with those of others. The reason for this is, perhaps, that in giving voice to our beliefs, we begin to consider various issues and we either accept or reject positions on these issues in turn.
Beliefs are not necessarily permanent, so at any given time, we should be aware of what is influencing our beliefs. We are not independent of social or environmental influences as we go about the daily task of living. For example, my belief that all people deserve to be treated equally has most recently been influenced by my experience in working with people who are "the other." These people are not like me on many levels, and this has forced me to confront my own preconceived notions about what it is to be poor, to be ethnic, to be old. This has not changed my beliefs about how people should be treated, but it has influenced how I will practice my belief in my future job searches.
I especially appreciate Peggy's musings on her significance or, as she refers to it in the essay, her insignificance. My own insignificance in the grand scheme of life has become increasingly apparent to me. From childhood to adolesence to young adulthood, I have been operating with the belief that if I work hard enough, I can make anything happen. This belief was reinforced by my teachers and parents over the years, and with my adoption of this message into my belief system, I drew the assumption that "I" am significant. The steam from this belief in my significance has brought me a long way from my origins, but to what end? I find myself wondering how other people interpreted and appropriated this message into their own belief systems.
These days, society sends me a different message. I am merely one among many. In my current environment, I have embraced this anonymity, which has allowed consideration of how people view me without an exchange of words ever taking place. Before, everyone had me tagged as being a particular type of person, and I thought this indicated that they knew the essence of me. However, I realized that their beliefs were stifling my personal evolution when I felt the need to free myself of their bounds. With the elbow room that my current insignificance gives me, I am able to consider what I believe and to choose pursuits that I consider are significant, even though these pursuits may seem insignificant to mass society. My life pursuits do not need to be significant to the mass society, they must simply be and take their natural course, as everything in life does in its own time and fashion.
I challenge you to write your own "This I believe" essay and post it up if you feel comfortable doing so. I will do the same.
